I believe a good portrait of a person shows their inner being, and their inner nature. Anything from an emotion to an action showcases a person and their inner soul. Portraits should reveal if a person is strong and resilient, soft and loving, or fun and energetic. The top photo shows the blur of a frantic character drawing on the floor. This reveals a frantic nature to me and a desire to unlock something. In the bottom professional photo, we see the subject in a place that relates to him as it surrounds him. I think a portrait should tell a story of someone.
In my photo I want it to show my story, and my life as it is to me inside. I want to take a self portrait capturing something about me, in its most eccentric, ecstatic form, or maybe the bulk of my soul deep with in. I would accomplish this by possibly performing something I do everyday, or showing my default emotion in a simple setting.